PESS tmr, am excited butttttt worried D:

Nevertheless, I still want t achieve smth. So Jia You everyone! Play your own game, good passes, 2 options, drives and no silly mistakes. Gave away that ball, go for it again! And lastly, fight until the final whistle goes! :D Keep it going!

Am gna have tuition again -_____- later. Then catching a movie at AMK hub in the evening with family.

Alright, goodbye!

Road run wasn't as tough as I thought, got fourth, contented [:

Tuition later on D: &tmr afternoon. Shag.

I passed my chinese spelling, &chinese test tday was difficult, for me la.



Trg at 0245, did competition warm-up and drills, different down-the-lines' and a short game. Road run tomorrow D: 3.2km man, why! I hope it rains.



PESS on sunday, sadly Mei Ling isnt gna play ]: Cause its under16 and shes 16plus. Disappointed la. Nvm, its North Zone that really matters, uh. Esther's playing instead :D Grats. I guess trg was alright.











Can no other lady put it down like me.

I'm glad you're smiling.

Trg at friggin' eight tday and I cabbed t sch 'cause I woke up at 0720. Physics test was alright, I really really really hope t pass this paper! :] Hg mall with Joanne, Mei Ling, Esther &Jia Qi after sch, ate &accompanied Joanne for her haircut. Afterwhich, went t get stuffs for the card, yeah.

Trg tmr straighttttttt after sch :D and roadrun on friday ]: Shag, I dont wna run at all. Amath &science tuition on saturday D: and PESS on sunday :] Sept hols, 5nations everyday. So I havent exactly studied for my chinese test tmr and I'm gna flunk my chinese spelling tday, lol. But hey it isn't counted in CA so whatever uh.

Am gna start doing up the card, gdbye!
:D

Ohmygod, it turned out tragic &I can't be happy about it.

History was screwed and I'm gna flunk, I know it. Physics test tmr :/ Trg with sec1s tgt with Ming Yue tmr morning, my sleeeeeep!


Oh mrs tan's back! Happiness. So I'm gna end.

Can no other lady put it down like me

Cheer up y'all, its not the end [:

I seriously think my skirt's too short, now.

Alright so, amk hub with Esther Joanne &Mei Ling after sch t buy her 'excited-t-get' jersey. Like it costs a whopping 104 bucks, wow. I don't think I'll be able t save that much D:

Trg's tmr, wednesday &thursday for me ]: And she's gna annouce the team tmr. It's so tmr. I want t play, I want t play, I want t play like mad. Nerve-wrecking thoughts.

And so whatever will be, will be, the future's not ours to see. 'once you've started, keep on going.' &I love shooting tday. I'll be optimistic about it. History SBQ test tmr :/ Sucks.

I'll try, keep trying.

'Fight till the final whistle goes.'

I'm gna shoot well.
I'm motivated! :D



And no matter what you do, it ain't gna affect me cause' I know you're playing hard-t-get. I feel horrible cause' it seems like I'm the cause of it. But I'll not run away, I'll face it cause' I know you'll be there for me in the end. This is how much it means.

I've tried hard and I'm tired t keep repeating, do you understand my intentions? No, I guess not. &no, I won't let jealousy take over me.

Goodbye.

Lay Hoe's hse yesterday for literature project &Dead Silence. Mary Shaw wooooooooooooo. Played with Ming Xun :D &home with Esther. Amk Hub with her tmr for manutd jersey, trg on tuesday and wednesday, its mine &Ming Yue's week t train the sec1s. Oh man that's a bummer.

Three tests on next week, Physics, Chinese &Emath. PESS on Sunday and yeah, thats about it. Shag, I hate next week. Tests :/ But positively, its the last week of the term!

&I still hope t play though.

And I said I was sorry alr ]:

So in the end, I went t seoul garden. Struggled a lil' and went t meet Li Mei at the lrt. Bh rach and yw took forever t come down :/ Met ting2 at compass and off. &ting2's a lousyyyyyyyyy guide please.

Rach went for her dental and the rest of us went in first. I ate like a glutton but Li Mei was worst, of course :D :D So we started cold jokes, and its realllllyyyy cold -________- Bh's roooooooo-sia! Hahahaha. Stayed there till around 0630 &left. Am gna shop at f21 &far east for my white cardigan and vintage blue blouse sometime next week.

Right so I was thinking about mankind. The way we do things and the way we think, woah its really complicated. Some ppl can be so predictable while some are not and I cannot understand this at all. Mankind is beautiful but nasty at the same time, oh well its such a random topic.

Anyhow, I still hope t play.

Am sorry! ]:

I'm gna kiss my knee goodbye. But I hate goodbyes ]:

Good t see them recovering, 'cause I feel so helpless. It sounds stupid but y'know its afterall a team game, can't afford t lose anyone. And Joanne &I are the 'buy-1-get-1 free' pair :D I loveeeee working with her 'cause she creates space for me, and we dont exactly clash all the time.

Larry treated me! [:

And I got good marks for physics quiz, like finally :D

Alright, goodbye.
I give free hugs (:

Trg tday was not exactly good, I thought she would be around, but no. Anyway, speedy recovery mrs tan! [:

Physics quiz was alright, plmg with dominica &esther after sch. Omfgxz, she's so fugly :/

No tests tmr, yay! :D
Oh &nvnetball, please take care of yourselves, no more ankle sprains, twists and etc. No more sorethroat and stuffs. Okayokay, I'm recovering soon alright. If you wna play PESS, tie your shoelaces tight and land properly. Stop joking and concentrate on yourself more importantly. Alright goodbye [:

Went for juniors trg tday &it was pretty productive for me cause I ran and shot. Am satisfied with my shots tday! :D :D :D Way t go. I'm finallyyyyyy starting t lift my shots! Uh but wait, I'm not consistent &thats the problem, I'm not sure if I can shoot like tday everyday. Oh man it just sucks :/

Anyhow, trg's tmr and I doubt she'll come down cause of staff meeting but I'll train hard. Oh oh captain ming's injured! She twisted/sprained her ankle D: Speeeeeedy recovery! Well actually she's able t walk alr heh. I know you'll be reading this, so yeah you ought t be touched! My knee's getting from bad t worst. It feels like rheumatism but its weird how i got it at a pathetic age 15, well i dont know. Its just.. pain in my knee joints and sometimes ligament. And I can't help but land loudly so yeah it's my fault. I've been trying t reminding myself t land softly, but it just goes off my mind everytime we play. What t do? Paste a sign over me ' LAND SOFTLY'. Maybe that will work yo. Hahahahahaha :D

Oh &I passed emath by a lil' and am so glad. Chemistry retest tmr for every pure science student and that just turns me off. Haven't studied at all for it and I guess I'll do it tmr since its the last period. And Li Mei! I thought you wna run tday huh! Hahahaha.
Okay, am seriously gna peep at that almighty bk. Mei Ling! Tmr! Eh but that's if shes coming la. And I broke the rim tday D:

Okay goodbye!

Guess what, I havent done any of my work yet and I don't know if there's any.

Anyway, I've been thinking about it again, oh wait I think about it everytime and can't help but have negative thoughts about it. It's so nerve-wrecking. Where's my chemistry? D:
And its 4 more days.

On a lighter note, I hope to pass my emath so I won't have t redo exercises and go for the retest. And bad news, I flunk both sciences, how bad is that. Its time t buck up yo. I regretted taking pure science man, it sucks, seriously >:/

Alright, I still hope t peep at that impt book! [: Goodbye!

Its two more trgs D:
Oh no oh no.




Well, whatever it is, gdluck everyone. Though I'll be damn upset if I dont make it, but I know its not the end.
But shucks, I can't afford to lose this yo.

Okay nevermind. Goodbye!

THANK YOU SOH TING2 SHORT LEGS! I APPRECIATE THAT ALOT! LOVES!

I'm glad we're fine now, and yes bh, we did it!

Though I'm disappointed that it's not really trg tday, but I admit I had fun. From the funny primary sch games to caterpillar with cones and small balls to caterpillar under legs! And damn, Ting2's legs are so short la! Everyone had difficulties passing thru hers. Even Asqiha's were bigger! And Bh was being obscene cause she had t cover her _____. Like omfg la. Frisbeeeee after that was love! My team, the WINNERS won 16-2! YAY! We were allowed t smack the LOSERS butt. Oh well, its so expected, I knew we would win! Nah... Joking!
Oh oh oh! I loveeeeee the writing about each other on the back part cause I could see everyone really together! Yes Bh, its not futile, its ALIVE! I hope we stay like that forever :D Regardless of any trgs!

Dinner after trg with Li Mei, Mei Ling, Ting2 &Yue Wan! We talked till around roughly eight and I cabbed home. Now, Mei Ling &Yue Wan are the NO LINKS! Okay, not funny.

Short day tmr, am gna run &shoot! Popular with Esther and Joanne after that probably home for tuition at eight thirty! Omg, I'm so loving this team. More t come, alright girls?

And and I passed my history! :D
Trgs on Tuesdays and Wednesdays! More fun, but more discipline, alright! Train hard!
And t Bh, don't be too worried about it cause he'll be fine. Take care alright. I hope he gets well sooon :D

I've made up a list of things I want, and things I'm gna do.

1) Run 2km 5 times a week
2) Shoot 200 shots 3 times a week
3) Study hard 'cause I flunk my chemistry
4) Not to fall sick anymore
5) Refrain from getting pissed by team mates
6) Not start a conflict in the team
7) Love my team
8) Love CAPTAIN MING!
9) Except what's given to me
10) 99% shooting accuracy
11) Good movements
12) Consistent performance
13) First seven
14) Able to play, and play well
15) No injury
16) Good relations with team
17) Team to stay as one
18) PESS
19) North Zone top4, maybe nats
20) Lengthen my skirt... Nah I'm joking.

"It's not enough to aim, you must hit your target!"
And I will : D

And I'll build up that bond, and keep the sec3 bond strong.

To MY: It's okay, I'm at fault too. And I know you're online yesterday! Hahaha, I LOVE YOU ALL THE SAME, I'M SURE EVERYONE DOES! Don't be emotional anymore, cause you can count on me. I know you trust me right! : D

Robert Louis Stevenson
'You cannot run away from weakness, you must fight it out, or perish. And if that be so, why not now?'

Yeah, now. I'm not giving in. I'll keep going [: Thanks Jean!

It's 12.54pm now and I'm at home. Yes, I didn't attend sch, but not because I wna skip physics test but I'm friggin' having fever. I know I know, I'm such a weakling. Like its just 50rounds, no big deal right? :/ Moreover, I ran less than 40rounds when she stopped us, so IT SUPPOSINGLY MEANS, I'M NOT FIT.

I learnt the word futile during lit ytd, and it means hopeless. I think our team's nearing futile not because of our skills but 'cause not everyone's trying hard to bond. I'm not saying I tried very very hard but at least I did try. I'm sure most of the sec3s did too. Someone from the team once said, 'You should listen to us at times, its no longer sec2s vs sec3s so can you not treat us as juniors?' Sure we can, but only if YOU AND YOUR FRIEND learn to be more sensible, alright. Meanwhile, listen to captain Ming.

And I admit the short skirts she mentioned is refering to me, I'll lengthen it soon, cause I want to play PESS. I know I'm not a consistent player and perhaps she was refering to me, but I'll keep trying to maintain good performance throughout every trg, so that she sees, its not all about good stamina. Though having said that, I'm still afraid not being able to play, the feeling of being replaced and no chance of going on court just frightens me. Y'know, I'd love to have good stamina, good shots, good movements and being consistent but I'm not perfect. And that is why I'm gna practice. I'm doing this for myself and no one else, I'm doing this because, I DON'T WNA LOSE TO YOU, AND I WON'T, CAUSE IT JUST MEANS SO MUCH.

Is this a team? I've been wondering.

It's funny how you lectured us, like we've no right no nth. Our so called 'team' isn't very bonded to start with, and after that human torture run everyone was feeling like fuck, so ask yourself, must you say that?
Well, I shan't elaborate any further cause I know my blog's public and ppl read so its better to refrain from continuing :/

And yes, I know we need good stamina to play well, but that's not the end I believe. You are not partipating in a marathon yeah. Just wna let it all out cause it's so _____________.

TO JOANNE: CHEER UP ALRIGHT? I KNOW YOU DID YOUR BEST AND I TRUST YOU. DON'T EVER LET THIS BRING YOU DOWN! YOU'RE A GOOD PLAYER AND I'M SURE YOU'LL MAKE IT SOMEDAY! PROVE THEM WRONG OKAY! BE STRONG!

I salute Joanne for running though her knees were painful, there were times I felt like stopping cause my knees were aching too, but hey, Joanne isn't giving up so I shouldn't. And I know my stamina sucks like fuck, but at least I ran 37rounds no less. I'll PAY my remaining rounds so don't worry alright, I WILL NOT CHEAT ON MYSELF CAUSE I'VE LOST MY PRIDE AFTER YOU SAID THAT.

I still think I trust Rachel's friend, Kumar, and I believe tap water's drinkable cause I supposingly drank it.

AND I KNOW WHAT I WANT EVER CLEARER NOW, NTH'S GNA BRING ME DOWN, I WILL NOT LOSE THIS TO YOU.

I've been thinking. &Yes, I know what I want, no doubt.



Am worried of tmr's emaths test,
excited about trg,
thinking about twelve,
wondering if I've overstretched my ligament,
&concern about my kneeeeee ]:
I've always been landing hard and I thought this wouldn't happen since I've been landing like that all along, but now its hurting so baddd. Okay maybe not that bad but its painful when I run and jump.
Please, I don't want that kind of an injury D:

I'm still upset, I still can't accept that and I honestly haven't gotten over it, yet.




'to jo: frm your blog. i truly understand what you’re gg thru. the fear of being replace/no chance to play. ok maybe you’d disagree and say i wouldnt understand. and even though i told you its alright today. i know its not. but yeah im horrible at comforts so yeah sorry. and although i didnt get to see your performance tt morning. so i cant comment on whther you played well or not. but rmb, you yourself said this too : Everyone makes mistakes. there are ups and downs no matter how perfect you are. there’s a time where you MUST fall in order to become stronger. have a taste of failure, then you wouldnt want to go thru this ordeal again the next time. Pesta is nothing. go for the BIG thing [: LOVEYOUHON.'

Val, you always know what t do though you're not good at comforts. But it sucks going thru this. I know what I want clearly now. Loveyaaaa too.

LOSING IS HARD

I don't know if its only me, but it feels extremely terrible when one team made it and the other didn't. It's the 2nd time it has happened and I'm really disappointed. I'm sure only Ming Yue understands how I feel right now, 'cause its always us in this situation D:

I needed that so badly I broke down. I played like shit and tell me, what's a shooter with no accurate shots? I suck I suck I suck at this. I've changed almost a million shooting techniques, from two hands to one, back to two and now to one again. Why can't I shoot as well as Yh? Pam? Chris? I know 165 isn't a great height as a shooter and I know I can't hold for lobs. So what if I can move? So what if I manage to bring the ball down to the circle? It's the shot that counts, not the number of good moves you've made ]: I love playing goal attack but I can't play it well. What's the point? It's my last year and I desperately wna play for PESS and North zone, but at this rate, it'll never come true.

The doubts and what ifs were so true. I can't help but say I'm afraid I'll lose this position to Farah or Yue Wan. No I can't I just can't. It means alot to me and there's no second chance. Stop comforting me, cause I very well know my shots are one of the worst among the shooters. I cannot afford not to play and be by the sidelines. No I hate it, detestttttttt that.
I've been thinking about it since we lost. What if Farah plays better than me? What if Yue Wan is playing first seven? What if what if what if. Y'know I can't get over it, I can't. My mind's occupied by stuffs like that, doubts, ifs and I've lost my confidence. Oh wait, maybe I didn't have one to start with. Y'know what it feels like to be substituted out? I sure experienced that before, many did in B'div last year. Although having said that, yh and I were very good friends though we know we're competing against each other, I'm glad she did well. She's my motivation, my ideal model and my chemistry partner (: Thanks for the whole lot of things you've told me tday, I'll not disappoint you.

Netball has been my passion since primary3. It's been 6years of it, why don't I see myself improving? My shots are so haywire and I'm not consistent. Damned, I don't wna lose my passion, no.
I'll keep trying but I know I've not gotten over this. I can't let that happen, I must play.
Big thanks to Chris, Mh, Bh, Mr Goh, Mrs Chong for the encouragements. And to Dominica, thanks alot, you cheer up too! You've done your best so don't bother about what they said alright. Love!
'Win or Lose, I'm glad you did your best.'

And to ______, I didn't quarrel with Li Mei and neither is she blaming it on the shooters. No worries, Li Mei and I xiangqingxiangai. We won't fall out over trival stuffs cause our friendship means much more. Moreover, we've been team mates for close to 2 years already.

I WON'T LET THAT HAPPEN, I MUST PLAY AND I'LL KEEP TRYING.

I'm done and I see its lengthy. You don't have to read if you're not interested.
GOODBYE.

I've a whole lot of doubts, worries and what ifs. Omg what if my shots suck, no I can't let that happen.

Thanks chris, for the encouraging tips and words you've told me. Though I'm still thinking alot about it, but I'll try not to.
I've faith in you too! You'll play well. I'll be supporting you bung-hair! :D




__ 175 CLUB SIMPLY ADORES says:
but i know you have the ability
__ 175 CLUB SIMPLY ADORES says:
you have shot for more than 3 years right, and you are a shooter, nobody can shoot better than you
__ 175 CLUB SIMPLY ADORES says:
so don't doubt yourself

I need it that badly.

I guess it doesn't matter anymore. I'm immuned.

It's tomorrow.

No I dont want it to come D:

Summer Love.




My right muscles are hurting like shit &I'm worried of Sun's first match. No I can't lose the first match, but the problem's if we can? ]:
I'm quite certain I'll breakdown if we don't cause I usually do, I don't know why. C'mon Blast, show em' what we're made of girls. Have faith!




Trg tday was good cause mrs tan's back! Yeah you heard me right. So we ran 2km and usual drills and court work. Blast will be playing Zest and Presto will be playing IJKC. It's so ______.
PESS's in two weeks and there'll only be one friggin' team, obviously I hope I'm playing, I'll be so traumatised if I'm not. I need it that bad. Only sad thing yet again is she'll not be there cause of 5nations comp I guess? Yeah more so. I was so down when I heard that.
Please please I wna play [:
YH's hse after that for domi's jersey and rp mac for lunch. It was great fun cause _______, I shan't say. Bbt after and meiling's hse for mahjong! YAY! &I didn't game at all. Cabbed home with clarabelle afterwhich. Pigged till now and surfing the net.

I hope sunday never comes. Anyway, lucks to both teams :D

I'm drenched with words unspoken.

There's so many things I wna say, so many things I wna tell you ):

I FEEL LIKE SHIT

USELESS BIG BABY )':

If I could, I would. I feel so dumb

When you have to look away, when you dont have much to say, that's when i love you, i love you just that way.

MOODY ]:

MISLEADING
BAD DAY AND EXTREME DOWNFALL

./.

IT READS MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS


I'M BREAKING DOWN.

YEAH OPPOSE ME ANONYMOUS.

Well this is my third post tday. I wonder why I blog so much, maybe its because I'm troubled and I need to let things out, in a brusque manner, yes.

And I'd love to admit I'm racist, cause I simply detestttttt ______. But, I still love my team, the whole 18 of us all the same. I apologise for previous criticism to my fellow team mates. I'm sure it does ring a bell.
Although having said that, I still hate J______. Or should I add the word 'disgraceful' or 'shameless'. I'm not speaking of all but some, yeah esther?

It's just the word 'disgusted'. It's been roughly 4-5mths, you still need time? We were BP champs in June alr, what exactly are you? Grotesque * whore.
Don't pretend, please.
And refrain from using vulgarities &act all ah-lianxzxz.
That's so outdated alr.

Shag.

I detesttttttttt J______. Not Joanne. Well I'm referring to part of it/them.







I miss you alot.

I think you ought to show some respect.

Maybe whatever ym said was right. Build the team up and yeah, self-trg is never good ): And I miss B'div07 alot, our self-trgs were so much better with little conflicts and more discipline. Well, or maybe rather, ym was a good captain and everyone listens to her. Although there were times when I disagree and get really mad at her for such decisions but I must say she's good in leading the team though. I don't know what made the bond between us and their batch but, trgs back then were so fun and enriching. I regretted skipping trgs. I miss lunch with them, I miss drills with them and I miss shooting with chris, pam &yh. I also miss the silly mistakes we've done altogether and those tears, fun and scoldings we had together.

I've learnt alot from them, from the trgs and from the bond and I will never attempt to break these bonds. It's a pity everything ended so soon, I miss the whole 18 of us and I mean 18, badly.

Now I've to blend into this team, where everythings so different. I know it's gna be tough but, I will try. And I definitely hope everyone tries, too. I realise whenever we do a drill when we're suppose to split ourselves into 2grps, its always the sec2s vs sec3s. Why? Maybe because we're so not used to the word, 'team' yet. If you think cliques is the cause of it, then I'm afraid you're wrong cause in b'div last year, there were also cliques, but how did we overcome that? The answer is to compromise.
After trgs, we leave separate ways unlike last year, where the entire team goes for lunch together. Well, maybe it's me who's thinking too much. Maybe I'm the one who needs to adapt.
Anyhow, I still miss the 2 coaches.






Where is the love?







'It is not enough to aim, I must hit my target.'

I swear self-trg sucked. Everything's like shit. Omfg, I can't believe I'm saying this but, I need mrs tan to be back, trg us. I willing to run extra, I'm willing to get scolded by for nothing by her. Seriously, I do. We used to have coach whenever mrs tan's away for her national comitments but now she's away at philipines too ): I hate this, terribly. Whats more pesta 2nd round's just a week away. Although we're gna play pesta just for experience and improvements, I still feel so... helpless.

Mrs tan and Coach, can you come back, right now? I swear I'll train hard.

She said if we don't start throwing hard passes to each other, we'll never improve, stuck in a neither here nor there situation. I know, start by throwing a not-so-hard ball first and gradually increase strength right? Bullshit. We'll never make it there. I know it's nasty to say this but I hope she cuts the team to at least 16 now, like how she did last year. It's so.. I don't know.
Clicks, I don't know. And on another note, I know we're a team but, it's still afterall a sec2-sec3 thing in the end. Please listen to M.Y. and it's not that we're not listening to you guys speak, it's just that mrs tan left the team to M.Y. and I think you'd not like to be in her shoes right?
Shag.
And cheer up, you. Don't take it to heart. I'm sorry ): I promise you your choc on monday.

Goodbye.

I'M WAITINNNNNNNNGGGGGGG D':

Ran 2km today with mingyue :D But she was having stitch so, yknow her stamina's by right better then mine.

Amath test today was bad cause I think I'm only gna get a passing mark although I had the paper! Dang, last question was 10 marks and I friggin' didn't memorise that answer. Oh well, it's good enough for me to get 10/20. At least I don't have to go for the retest :x

Trg's tomorrow. No kilometres! And she left.

For some reasons, I have decided to blog for nothing cause, limei should know (:
And you're welcome.