Throw it away, forget yesterday


Don't judge
Don't label

When you've not gotten your facts right about that matter, yet.

I despise people like that 'cause they've got no right to comment.



So it's the last day of 2007, I'm hoping for a fruitful &enjoyable 2008.

I'm more than what you've made of me










throw it away, forget yesterday


Y'know what, I'm still feeling mooooooody...

My's a spoiler.









I feel moody ):

If I could escape
& recreate a place as my own world


Random updates
I'm feeling moody.

And I'm moving on, 'cause I know there are many other choices in life. I've decided to go for it
after O's. Oh wait but it depends on whether I still have the passion. Uh well.


&I'm still worried about making the team :/


Right, I'm done.

Trg on Friday, goodbye.

You should have known


Now I'm done believing you
you don't know what I'm feeling

I'm more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me

But now I've got to find my own
You should have listened


The melody I start but can't complete


I'm trying to go on hiatus, and I think this is it.

I'm gna post even without My's tag.

My, you're the worst friend on earth! Hmmmmmmpf!

Alright, it has been a boring week 'cause I've no life. I made 16 on monday &received some ugly news I dreaded.

&still, I've not gotten over that matter. I don't know what has gotten into me but I just had that disappointment &jealousy. I so wanted to ask her why, but my courage failed me. It's just... unfair.

&It's killing me inside.
SCREW YOU!
I trusted you, did you know? This is a turning point yet again. You brought me up &let go. I fell terribly &I doubt I can stand on my own anymore.

I'm going on hiatus, goodbye.

I walk this empty street, on the boulevard of broken dreams

I'm disappointed, at everything.

That piece of seemingly good news hit me, &it just sucks.






JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.

2 days to camp.


I'm beginning to think even more each day. Spoke t My last night obviously on you-know-what &she said she was bored listening t me! What a captain! Okay I admit it was a lil' of repeating the same stuffs over &over again BUT still, I'd rather she say smth else than 'very sian leh.' Oh &quit sleeping so much, 'Mini' pig.

Besides you-know-what, I told her I can't stand her anymore! Seriously, she's like so whatever. What position is she in to give attitude during trgs? So what if she's a good player? This doesn't give her the right. I mean, she's not the only player who can catch balls. It became worst when she claims I took hers when I don't have it. Like hello? Even mine's not with me. Alright but it fking funny when Lm called to tell me it was with her after I poured my anger about her to her. Confusing I know, but you don't have to know anyway.

It was fake how you actually didn't give a damn. &how everyone was better than yourself. Oh well.

Anyhow, I won't let this affect me 'cause if I do, I can't perform on court &that may cost me a chance in the team. Like I said, I'll work for it. I WILL. I'll have faith in Lix... &My, hahaha.

Having tuition later on, that dreaded 3hours would be worth it for the sake of my sciences. Goodbye :D

HAPPY.

Lix's sick ): Speedy recovery!

I was so looking forward to trg with Lix today 'cause we were supposed to learn how to break zone and centre passes BUT she wasn't feeling well. Oh well, I'll wait for camp then.

Today's trg made me feel... lousy. I almost threw my temper at her 'cause I really couldn't stand her :/ But whatever, its over already.

Alright so camp's approximately 3days from today. I definitely hope to enjoy the camp though there's 2km timing test &beep test plus the dreaded selection ): We've to reach sch at friggin' 0730! But of course, this isn't the worst 'cause we might not even have mattresses to sleep on! HOW? Sleeping on the floor, s u c k s.

With that aside, I'm fking worried about selection. I know I've mentioned about this many times before, but its only 'cause I'm insecure. I can't imagine myself out of the team, it's gna be a nightmare. Yeah I'll work for it, but I'm afraid I'll break down during the announcing of B'div after camp. But I'll keep a positive attitude, no matter how hard it gets. I just hope for the very best.

Been talking to Lm, My &Mh about it, but I guess they're right. Just play my best and be confident 'cause that's the only thing I can do to help myself up now. I'll keep trying, thank y'all. I love y'all the same :]

So I really want to play, to make the team. But I guess it all depends on my performance and the coaches. They said I must have faith &believe in Lix, but its hard y'know. Alright I'll listen to My, I'll do my best... &stop worrying, I hope.

I hope I'll make it.
I want this badly.

Edited;

Oh I didn't enjoy yesterday's game as well, more less performing. I didn't know where to run &what moves to do, thus it was so all-over-the-place! Urgh, I prefer the real Netball game instead... right rach? :)

I can't take this, I won't take this, I can't do this, I won't do it

I was looking forward to trg today, but... I got shot down, again.


Trg today was demoralising. Seems like the first half of everything was good for me today, but only the first half, the rest was just... rubbish.
2km for warm-up. I don't know why but I ran at my &c's pace for 1.2km, then I began to slow down. Then it was drills and down-the-line, which I thought was alright. 1/3 court was good 'cause I could shoot &move, I felt really confident of myself then, till we did court work, my performance pulled me down &I almost cried 'cause I don't know what I was doing. Right now, my confidence level's down to zero, ZERO. I felt like the worst player on court ): I'm beginning to think alot again.

I know I'm not stable emotionally, but I just can't hold back my temper &everything that's bothering me on court. I'm trying hard to change but I just... I don't know. Everything's written so clearly on my face, &yes I'm feeling down.

I'm trying hard to play AS A TEAM. I'm trying not t be so individual on court &I'm trying to work with what's given to me, but somehow, I always tend to play my way. &when things don't go my way, or I can't shoot, I'll be demoralised. Ahhhhhhh, this is driving me nuts. Y'know, my way of play may cost me to lose my position in the team, reason being, I can't work with my combination. I don't know what to do...

This chance in the team's really impt for me since it's my last year in NV, I really want it, but it seems so far from reach. It's gna be a big blow if I don't make it, 'cause this is my passion, &more less, my life. 7years of it, I can't afford to lose it. No I can't, I just can't ):
I'm really worried, I've all kinds of thoughts racing across my mind, oh boy.

Lix spoke to me 'cause I guess obviously from my facial expression, I'm down. I'll remember everything, I'll do it tomorrow, I'm gna show her, I can play safe Netball.
Alright, I've decided, since it's that impt, I'm gna work for it, I'm gna show everyone I can do it, I'm gna prove that I can work with my team, I'm gna do whatever it takes. I'm willing to take up this pressure. Watch me! :)

Bye.